August, 19th, 2012
T. Hanna
Just to Reach Him
(A modern version of the woman who bled for 12 years)
Jane lay in bed in the spot where Travis, her ex-husband, used to lay. Now it was an empty hole in her life. Everything has become a hole in her life these days. She gritted her teeth hard as she forced back tears. How had everything become such a mess? She thought.
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In the past 6 years, she had slowly lost her job, her friends, her husband and even her status in the city. The tears flowed without regard for her desire to stifle them. What dam can withstand the tears of a woman who has lost her life?
She turned on her side, which used to help her sleep, but as she did another rush of blood surged between her legs. Over the years, she had accustomed herself to this feeling and tried to prepare for when it happened, but this time she was too late. She rushed to the toilet and allowed the flow to come. Tears streamed down her face. This is what destroyed my life. She thought.
After cleaning up and rinsing out her clothes and bedsheets, she dressed and spread a plastic bag over the bed before putting a clean fitted sheet on. Jane curled up and tried to put herself to sleep, but the hours wore on and still her mind would not be quiet.
Glancing at the time, she decided to browse her phone. She was perhaps bored of all the apps that were available, but news was always something she could look forward to. It wasn’t necessarily the fact that it gave her a taste of the outside world, but rather the fact that all the gloom and doom helped her see her circumstances as small in comparison. It didn’t make her happy, but it was her guilty pleasure. Having read five articles, she was soon drifting off to sleep. It was a good night of sleep this time. She wasn’t awoken by another emergency, but the blood did flow.
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The sun rays greeted her cheerfully as they danced through the suncatchers hanging in front of her window. With a groggy head, she noticed that she had fallen asleep with her phone in hand. Jane often found that she did that these days. She pushed a button to pull it out of sleep mode. The news appeared right back on screen and it refreshed. She was about to check her email, when a headline caught her eye. Clicking it made the story appear. Her eyes scanned quickly. She could hardly believe her eyes. A smile crawled across her face as she read. This can’t be true. She thought. She read the entire article before leaping out of bed and throwing her clothes on. The day was young and she had packing to do.
She gathered only her necessities. Anything cumbersome and heavy would keep her from her destination. This was a very important trip, maybe the most important one in her life. As she packed, memories of her relationship with Travis flooded her mind.
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Jane and Travis had been married for thirteen years. Their story was one for the story books. They fell in love at a Christmas charity bake sale. They both saw the last bag of ginger snap cookies and grabbed it at the same time. The initial anger and surprise at grabbing someone’s hand wore off as quickly as it had come when they looked into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t love at first sight, per se, but they both felt immediate attraction. They dated for three years and then Travis realized that he couldn’t live without Jane. They both volunteered to help with a Christmas bake sale and he proposed to her as she sold the last bag of ginger snaps.
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After seven years of marriage and treatments, they came to the sad realization that Jane could not get pregnant. They opted to start the adoption process, but before the paperwork was even halfway finished, their attention was turned toward Jane’s health as she started bleeding. The real storms in their marriage started to push in when Jane didn’t stop bleeding for over two months. As often as possible, Travis took Jane to the doctor for tests and treatments. Each time they hoped that there would be a breakthrough and answers, but each time their hopes were crushed. Jane became weaker and paler.
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She had been working as a lawyer’s assistant, but now that kind of stress caused her to hemorrhage. With no way around it, Jane was given a year’s worth of severance pay and told to pack up her things. The job loss took a toll on their marriage. Travis didn’t have a large income and they seemed to be struggling to make ends meet. With all of the doctor’s bills and medications, their money was quickly dwindling. Jane tried to find a low-demand job, but no one wanted her. She also tried her best to keep up with cleaning, cooking and laundry, but she was getting weaker every day. Travis was a good husband. He did his best to maintain a full-time job, care for her and keep the house in order, but he was struggling.
So, on the day that the doctors told them that they had done all that they could do, Travis packed his bags and left. Jane tried everything to get him back, but no amount of tears or pleas would soften his heart. Five months later, Travis filed for divorce and separated contact with Jane.
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Today would have been their 18th anniversary and she had been hemorrhaging for 12 years now. Life wasn’t getting any better, so what harm could this trip do? She had lost everything, what more could she possibly lose? Her only fear was the great hope that seemed to be growing in her heart. At this point, it was dangerous to hope for so much.
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She searched around the apartment for loose change that would total up the amount she needed for a taxi to the subway station. If she had friends anymore, she would have asked them for a ride, but that time was gone. Too many times she had embarrassed them with her accidents and other times it had damaged their property. I mean, blood is one of the hardest things to get out of furniture and carpet. Of course, she thought, if they were really my friends, they would have stuck with me through this no matter what. Then she remembered that even her own husband had left her. If he couldn’t stay, why should friends? She was worthless. She caused problems. She was a mess. Tears stung her eyes. She really missed hugs and touch in general. No one even wanted to be close to her, let alone touch her anymore.
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Counting her money caused her to despair. She only had about $55 and change. She needed at least $200 for the taxi that would take her to the subway station in the other city, but how was that going to happen now? The hope started fading. I knew I shouldn’t have hoped too much so soon. She thought angrily. Defeat nearly consumed her, but then her hopes grew again as an idea began to form.
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The public bus was noisy and full of odorous people, but she could afford to take a couple of buses. She prepared herself for any accidents by wearing Depends and a really oversized dress. This was by far the most humiliating mode of transportation, and she had to sacrifice all her luggage, but at this point, it was her only option. Sacrifices needed to be made in order to reach the goal, but that seemingly meant losing everything.
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When she arrived in the other city, she spent her remaining money on the subway ticket. The subway would take her exactly where she needed to go and she wouldn’t worry about money until she reached her destination.
Knowing that she had a long ride ahead of her, she stuffed herself into a corner seat. She fell asleep almost instantly. When she woke up, she realized that she had missed her destination by two stops. Panicking, she got off at the next stop. Once she was on the subway going the opposite direction, she stayed on full alert. She was on a schedule. She did not want to miss His arrival.
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Jane breathed a sigh of relief when she arrived at her stop, but was met with horror when she came up the stairs. Hundreds of people were lining the streets. The crowds were thick and loud. How was she supposed to see Him? Everyone else wanted to see Him too. She suddenly felt sick. What made me special or set apart from everyone else? They were all there because they wanted something from Him. Oh, how foolish I’ve been to believe that He would heal me. She glanced at the crowd around her. Throngs of mute, blind, handicap, sick, broken and dying people were gathered to see Jesus, just like she was hoping.
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It had been rumored that He had healed the lame, sick and blind people before. That kind of power wasn’t found just anywhere and people all over the world knew that. That’s why they were here too.
Jane almost turned around and started home, but suddenly she saw His face emerge through the middle of the crowds surrounded by His followers. He wasn’t anything spectacular, like a movie star. He wasn’t even handsome, but she was drawn toward Him. Something about Him beckoned her closer.
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She gently started weaving through the crowd, hoping to go unnoticed. People pushed in around her. The closer she got to Him, the more desperate she felt. Her pace quickened as she watched Him passing by her. The crowds thickened the closer she got to Him. Still, she pushed through the massive crowds and edged herself closer every moment. Now she was furiously digging through the people, not caring anymore about the others and they were fighting back. She was getting so close, but still the crowds pushed against her. She was going to miss Him. Looking at His feet, an idea popped into her head. As disgusting as it was, she got on her hands and knees and began crawling through the hundreds of feet. She kept the image of what His feet looked like and moved forward. She easily could have been stepped on, but nothing was on her mind except Jesus. Perhaps, if I can just touch His clothes, I can be healed. Yeah, I don’t need a special cleansing ceremony. I only need to touch Him. She concluded. As she crawled over street trash, she knew that time was slipping away. She couldn’t move nearly as fast as the crowd or Jesus could walk. She saw His pants and in that moment, she heaved herself across the ground in between pairs of legs to just barely graze His pants with her fingertips.
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Immediately, she was well and she knew it. Blood stopped flowing between her legs. Shock washed over Jane’s face at not only the miracle, but at the knowledge that she had accomplished her goal. The world sounded muffled, like she was underwater. Time seemed to stand still, but she heard someone say, “Who touched Me?” There was a stir of commotion in the crowd and she heard someone else say, “Everyone is pressing in around You and You want to know who touched You?” She knew it was because of her and she realized that she didn’t want Him to look at her, not in this condition. She began crawling away on her hands and knees again, but the crowd parted in front of her and she looked up. Jesus was standing before her, bending down to her level. Her face filled with blood and she began to relay what had happened to her as she trembled. He seemed to be listening intently and patiently. Jane stopped talking and noticed the crowd watching her. She blushed.
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Then Jesus took my hand and said lovingly, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.” Jane couldn’t believe her ears, but a smile crept upon her face as tears filled her eyes. He gently wiped away her tears with His hands and then proceeded to join His followers. Jesus has made me well. She thought joyfully. And He touched me. He didn’t only speak to me, but He touched me.
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He continued on His way just like she knew He would, but the world had stopped in her mind. Some of the crowd were still watching her as she sat on the ground wiping away the tears that would not stop. She had been healed of her hemorrhage, but somehow, in her heart deep down, she had been healed of so much more. She had sacrificed everything just to see Him and she got far more than she ever dreamed she would. Jane decided to start a new life with the second chance Jesus had given her. She started over in this new city and immediately started telling others about her encounter with Jesus who healed her-body and soul.
The End